Never Too Late
by salamander27
Summary: After Hijikata and the Shinsengumi kill Mitsuba's fiancé and his men, he comes to see her one last time on her deathbed.


**This is after Hijikata and the Shinsengumi kill Mitsuba's fia** **ncé** **and his men. In my story, he comes to see Mitsuba one last time.**

 **When I saw this arc, my heart felt like it had been torn into pieces. I feel broken whenever I remember Hijikata and Mitsuba. Especially when he says, "I just want the woman I love to be happy." And then the small flashback of those two, with him looking at her and then blushing when she catches him, and his reason as to why exactly he turned her down. And basically, just seeing him fight so passionately and so angrily for her sake and for Sougo's sake. Hijikata is my favourite character ever. I just want to give the guy a hug, and tell him to be honest.**

 **Gosh... my heart hurts too much whenever I think of it. I'm sure everyone else feels the same way.**

* * *

As Hijikata limped his way to the hospital room, he left a trail of blood from his wounds. But none of it mattered. The pain, the blood, he was used to it all.

All that mattered was Mitsuba, to see her one last time. It was selfish and foolish of him to even desire such a thing after the way he had treated her and left her. But he had to do it, to ensure a normal and happy life for her. She was better off without him. He kept telling this to himself all these years. All the pain he kept locked inside... she was worth it. She was worth it all.

But as he walked past the hospital doors, a sense of desperation took hold of him. He had to see her one last time. She was dying.

When he heard that she was engaged, he was happy for her, thinking that she finally had a chance to live a normal life with a normal husband. But things got out of hand. Mitsuba got very sick, and her husband turned out to be a bastard criminal. For the sake of Mitsuba and Sougo, he went out to kill them all, nothing but rage colouring his actions.

His hand twitched at the thought of her fiancé. He would kill him over and over again if he had the chance. For the sake of the woman he loved... After all, the bastard was using her. He even had the nerve to think of taking her as a hostage while she was on her deathbed. He endangered Sougo's future, too. He deserved his end.

 _Damn it,_ he thought to himself. _I'm hopeless after all. I still love her even after all this time. I still want to see her smile, like she had in the moment we shared in the sunset, all those years ago._

He could now feel the sting of the gunshot wound in his leg. He ignored it and threw away his cigarette.

* * *

Finally, he reached her room. He found Gintoki waiting outside it.

He stopped a few feet away from him. Both of them looked at each other intently.

Gintoki was the first to speak up. "Okita-kun is with her right now."

Hijikata nodded.

"You should go in," the samurai added silently.

Hijikata looked away. "No, I..." Suddenly, he lost his courage. "I-I was just passing by. I have no business here."

Gintoki sighed. "Whatever you say, Hijikata-kun." He walked towards him, and as he passed by, he whispered, "But you'll regret it if you don't do something before it's too late."

Hijikata turned around and stared at his retreating back.

The samurai was right. Hijikata made his decision.

He opened the door to Mitsuba's room a little, and saw her on the bed with Sougo at her side. Both of them noticed him. Sougo looked away, but Mitsuba... she smiled at him. She was smiling. How could she be so happy even at this time? How could she still look so kind and beautiful, lying here like this? How could she still look at him like that after what he'd done to her?

He felt a faint sting behind his eyes as he entered the room. Sougo got up, wiping his face with his sleeve. He looked up towards Hijikata, but not at him.

"Aneue, I'll be back," he says to his sister.

Slowly, he walked out of the room, not once glancing at him. But Hijikata understood. This was his way of telling him that he could speak with his sister.

Hijikata walked to Mitsuba's side, and both of them gazed at each other. For once, he let himself be true to his heart and sat down beside her.

A frown worried her forehead as she eyed his bleeding wounds. "Are you... are you okay?" she asked in a weak voice.

He couldn't believe she was asking him that. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

Her shaking hand rose to touch his cheek, but it faltered halfway and fell back on the bed. She smiled sadly.

He couldn't take it anymore. "Mitsuba... I... I'm sorry."

She just kept on smiling, but her eyes shone with fresh tears. "I know..."

He shook his head slightly. "No, you don't. I haven't been honest with you, ever."

The tears flowed out of her dimming eyes.

He continued to speak, the sting behind his eyes greater than before. "Mitsuba... I love you. I always have. I...I-"

"Toshiro," she said softly. "I know. I have always known."

His eyes widened. "What?"

Her smile broadened, but she suddenly started coughing. After it had settled down, she continued to speak. "I always knew that, Toshiro. You thought... you thought you had me fooled, but you were wrong. I could see right through you. But I also understood why you did it. And you did it... for me."

She was crying for real now, but her smile remained. "It's why I have waited all this time. But now...It's ironic, isn't it –"

She was cut off by her coughing once again. "I'm sorry, but it looks like I'm going first."

He looked at the blood from her mouth with a horrified expression. "Mitsuba..."

Her lips quivered as she looked at him apologetically. "I wish... I wish things had been...different...for us..."

Frantically, he reached for her hand and pressed it between both of his. Tears escaped from his eyes and streamed down his blood-stained cheeks, making the cuts on his face sting.

"Toshiro... Please...keep looking after...Sou-chan..." she whispered and looked up at the ceiling with an almost blissful expression.

Just then, Sougo entered the room and knelt by his sister's side, his expression one of pain and panic.

Slowly, Hijikata released her limp hand and stumbled back to the door, leaving the siblings alone for this one last moment. Then he ran without looking back.

* * *

On the roof, he ate the senbei she had left for the Shinsengumi. Just as he expected, it was extra spicy, just the way she liked it.

But he kept eating it.

"It's spicy..." he said as he chewed on it. "It's really spicy. Damn it... It's so spicy that my tears are flowing out..."

But he couldn't hide the pain and the sobs that accompanied the words. He wiped his face with his sleeve.

He swallowed another sob. "It's spicy..."

* * *

And for the next many years, he brought flowers to her grave and remembered her fondly with a smile on his face.


End file.
